In the nighttime air, your lips moistening against the surface of a supple, juicy breast, your body tingling, hands nervously shaking with excitement, this is the moment you’ve been waiting for. Its now finally here, as you experience your first piece of…fried chicken.

            That’s right, folks, I went lowbrow this time, blame it on writers block, it’s the easy way out. Either way, we’re going down this road and I hope to hell this highway doesn’t have too many traffic jams…mmmmm jam.

            I’ve ranted about street food before, its purity, its simplicity…its fat content. This little gem of a food shop was the ABSOLUTE first of the new restaurants in Manchester to catch my attention, and if you look closely at just the chicken alone after your eyes adjust from being blinded by the giant neon sign outside, an exceptional amount of effort has gone into this poultrypalooza. All the excess fat is carefully removed from the meat so that just the crispiness of the thin skin will be left over the meat after being fried in a lightly spicy batter that will make you wanna eat the bones; which I have accomplished many times on the wings. You can tell when a chicken wing is cooked just right, to where you can bite off the tip of the wing and that crunchy fried goodness is like a little piece of candy before you dive into your actual meal.

            Now when you think of New Hampshire, you don’t think of deep fried chicken or Gyros or even beef kebabs (why kebab is spelled differently in the menu from the store name I don’t know). Hell, you don’t even think of food, you’re imagining over-priced antique shops, watery maple syrup, highway liquor stores and many other reasons to help you quit life. Yet some clowns would argue, “But this is New England! We have all four seasons and its beautiful watching the leaves change.” And my response to them would be…you’re an idiot, the first amendment doesn’t apply to you and you’re no longer allowed to communicate with any other Bi-Pedal mammals. Un-cuff your pant legs, get back in your Subaru with your Panini Sandwiches and don’t ever leave Burlington, Vermont again. Your plaid shirt is ugly and you’re afraid of your wife.

            Now let’s deal with facts at hand, the food selection is vast, it’s as if they jacked every street cart from midtown Manhattan and shoved them all into a four page brochure. Another thing I should mention is that USA Chicken doesn’t pretend to be something their not, they don’t appeal to new-age foodies, their not gluten-free, they don’t have a sob story…It’s simply food porn with a smile and I’m usually so stuffed with fried chicken and flaky meat pies, that I usually overlook their large assortment of desserts consisting of ice creams, milkshakes, pies and cakes. Plus the choice of eating there, taking it out or having it delivered (fat-ass) just gives me way more options than I probably deserve. Now as a true gym rat who tends to follow a more forgiving culinary regiment, this is more of a weekly cheat meal for someone like myself, but If you are one of those people that believe Diet Cola is good for you, I recommend either a Gyro Salad or the Kebab Salad as alternative to the fried food overkill.

            One more thing I wanna add before wrapping up this disaster piece of a food review, when its Friday night at 2 am and your stumbling out of the bars with some freckle-faced bimbo you just met, before sealing the deal and getting tested the next day for a STD, due note that USA Chicken is open until 3am on Friday and Saturday and is right across the street from that bar you just fell out of. This review will self-destruct in 5 seconds…

USA Chicken & Biscuit (Open 7 Days)

603-232-2934

}www.chickenonelm.com